Lame Jokes

A man went down to the pet shop, and asked to buy a pet that was very smart, and could do chores for him. The pet shop owner showed him a centipede and told the man it could talk and do anything he asked. The owner demonstrated. "Go and get my jacket." She told the centipede. So the centipede said "Yes, ma'am," went and got the jacket and gave it to her. The man was impressed, and bought the centipede. At the house, the centipede was as helpful as ever, making the bed, and sweeping the floor just as his master asked. One morning, the man said "Centipede, go outside and fetch the newspaper, please." "Okay." The centipede replied. So the man waited... and waited. Two hours later, the centipede came back with the paper. "What took you so long?!" The man asked. "Sorry, sir," the centipede replied "I had to put my shoes on first."